The Five Love Languages at Work

A friend of mine is having some trouble with his boss. He doesn't feel appreciated at all. He said he's tired of the negativity. Here's what I told him...

I think that the staple of modern relationship education is The Five Love Languages book. Here's the summation: We each speak and hear a different language for feeling loved. When someone is speaking the wrong language, it doesn't do any good. So most relationships (romantically and in general) have a translation problem. Both people are working really hard, but speaking different languages.

Here's the languages:
- Words of Affirmation
- Touch
- Gifts
- Acts of Service
- Quality Time

My parents have been married 34 years. My mom read this book and it really helped. It's required reading for anyone in a relationship.

It relates to work because if your boss show appreciation by giving you gifts or time off to spend with family, but you really want words of affirmation, then you've got a translation problem with his or her love language.

Some people show sooo much love through acts of service or quality time or touch, but they are very negative in their speaking. If that was your boss, he or she would feel that they are working really hard to show you appreciation, but it wasn't doing any good. I'd recommend asking your boss to start saying certain things, and exactly how often to say them.