Market to Leaders

This is my new favorite marketing habit. Marketing to leaders.

I am so proud of my first Smart Singles Dallas event. I had 70 people at the first one. How did I do that?

Well it wasn't really on purpose. I decided to call Singles groups to get my event onto their event calendars. And by doing so, I ended up forming relationships with the leaders in these groups. As a result, each leader was so excited in their own way, that they each brought 25-30 people. It was amazing!

And that was from a very minimal amount of work. I was just my normal, passionate self; and when I started sharing this event with them, they loved it.

It showed me that there is a lot of power in working with leaders. Some leaders are obvious: accountants, financial planners, real estate agents. But some leaders are less obvious, but have just as much clout. Those singles groups are a great example - who knew that I could suddenly fill an entire room with sold-out tickets by simply calling a few great organizations to get onto their event calendars?

Which leaders should you contact? What would you say?
Leave a comment below!

We got robbed!... no, really.

Someone broke into our house today, over lunch. Uhhh... suck!

Well God Bless Alarm systems, because they didn't take nearly as much as they could of. We think they freaked out when they couldn't get the alarm system turned off. They were clearly in a major hurry. Although my video blogs are going to be lacking (because, of course, they took the video camera), I do have a back-log of a video or two. So I can post what I have on youtube.

We didn't lose any of our information, which is much more valuable than the "stuff". I had just backed up and stored my Quickbooks (omg, thank goodness). And all our pictures and videos were loaded on the mac.... Speaking of the mac, I had it with me for lunch. Otherwise, it would have gone bye-bye.

The horrible tablet PC is gone. And Dave's Christmas gift, a digital camera. So it's really disappointing, but it could have been a lot worse. I'll post some "rumage through our stuff" pictures from my phone after I figure out how to upload camera phone images to the computer.

The mess is picked up, and the emotional wounds are healing.
Thanks for the kind words in advance.

Mark

My Future in Coaching

I recently investigated a coaching certificate program at UT-Dallas, my alma mater. I love the program, and will probably start in the fall '08. But its focus on Executive Coaching got me thinking... Should I shift into EC? Is there more money there? Is it right for me?

I asked for feedback from three people that I cherish. They each shed light onto the situation, and basically said, "No. It's not right for you. Stay the path you've started on."

That's always an inspiration for me. Their words were so encouraging and enlightening, that it made a profound difference in my approach and strategy at the Love Kung Fu: Life Learning Company. Here is my response to one of them, including some amazing insight into The future industry of Coaching.

---
Thanks for the feedback!! Good call. I won't move into Executive Coaching, but I probably will do the UTD program in the Fall, to get the ICF credentials. Your explanation of saturation and discussion of my expertise were the most useful! So huge thanks!!!

You are right that only "following the money" is not enough. I've based my whole life on learning, and the lessons I'm learning right now are definitely around business-building. So I am going to stay on the same path, growing Love Kung Fu in the consumer market, focusing on selling coaching in quantity (namely by building small group coaching, big group coaching, books, workbooks and online communities), and automate a business that generates revenues from the new demands on the coaching industry, supports the new coaches that are flooding it, and capitalizes on those relationships.

I agree the market for all coaching is shifting into saturation. I've long believed that the coaching market will follow the same trend as the personal trainer industry did in the 70s and 80s. (If I can find a historical, financial perspective on the personal trainer industry, with growth stats, then I could more easily capitalize on that. I'll keep you posted.)

That said, there are two things that will make a difference in profiting from that upcoming saturation of new revenues and competition.

#1 Branding: This points me toward the direction I've always headed, but now, it's even more clear. Love Kung Fu is a coaching brand - a one stop shop for action and results. Because of your email, I am changing my slogan to just that: "Your One Stop Shop for Action & Results." It's a minor change, but reflects a different attitude, one of branding my company as the "McDonalds" of coaching, or the "Albertsons" get-everything-here kind of store for coaching. That also reflects the relationships I am forging with other coaches, who are interested in working with Love Kung Fu as a coach.

#2 Lower prices and Automation: Since the competition will be fierce, I will be keeping my prices cheap. For general coaching (entrepreneurs, book writing, dating, relationships), I've always felt that coaches tried to charge the same prices as counselors, but without all the scientific background and credentials. Instead, like personal trainers, I think setting up a gym is key. I'm still fleshing this out, but having a "place," even online, is important.

I think the secret to capitalizing on entrepreneurs and those with less money lives in providing smaller, niched chunks for smaller prices. My plan is to keep the price low. After demand grows, I will delegate surplus customers to other "starving entrepreneur" coaches to help them get started, and split the proceeds in order to fund the automation and additional training that I will have to create.

My pricing is really low. $250 for 5 weeks, one-on-one. In the future, that will be the price for the group coaching with the online tracking system, etc. It is focused on small, fast niched topics: set a goal, accomplish it, and get out! :-) With that model, I'm creating a large base of returning clients, which has been proven fast and effective. The business model is definitely coming together, as shown in my store.

Once I have a steady flow of clients, one-on-one coaching will go up in price considerably, since my time is a limited resource.

With that pricing, I am getting a flow of clients, about 1 new client every two weeks (which is really low, compare to where I want to be). My goal is to have 5 new clients per week, each client lasting 5 or 10 weeks each. My life lessons right now are in Marketing, Marketing, Marketing. And I am learning as fast as I know how to. I am in some programs, and applying it all as fast as I can. Onward and upward!

Thank you so much.

Yours,
Mark

Increase Productivity with One Little Habit

I recently read Tim Ferriss' 4 Hour Work Week. He talks of batching your work. For example, don't check email so many times a day, try once a week. I think email checking a nasty habit for almost all of us. Since I work from home, I have no one to blame but myself.

When I gave up television, it was such a relief. I felt I had come clean of a nasty addiction. I was lucky to learn ways to moderate my television watching after a season of abstinence. (Thank you Netflix!) Now that the cable and satelite are turned off though, my productivity is better, and so is my own sense of personal power. I will probably never have television like that in the same building as my work-space ever again.

But a new addiction has reared it's ugly head... checking email and web surfing. So here is what I've done to reduce "web crawl" and "email crawl" into my Productivity Zones.

1) I scheduled time for answering emails in a large weekly batch.
2) I created 2 logins on my computer: one for work and one for play.
This makes it annoying and inconvenient to "play." But if I want to, it is not impossible. This is also useful for checking email, as you will see in the later steps.

3) In my work login, I downloaded the BlockSite Add-on for my Firefox web browser.
4) I blocked Youtube, Myspace, and any other tempting site on the work login.

5) I also blocked "http://mail.google.com/mail/#inbox"

This still allows me to still visit "http://mail.google.com/mail/#compose" and write new messages. It also still allows me to browse message archives. I now lose access to almost nothing, except those pesky "new emails" that draw my attention away from work.

It has already helped several times! I am definitely less distracted. I love it!!

Leave me comments below with your own work-from-productivity tips!

Who wants to teach me to play the guitar?

I think I'm ready to learn how to play guitar.
I love this song. All I need is a guitar, a teacher and this video.

What kind of marriage are you?

My description of the spectrum of marriage as described by marriage researcher, Dr. John Gottman.

We're Going to Burning Man 2008

Thanks to our close friend, Phillip.... we are going to Burning Man.

Burning Man is an annual event in the middle of the Nevada desert. It is an 8-day exercise in Radical Self-Reliance and Radical Self-Expression.

50,000 people come together and build an entire city in one day. The city remains for one week, and culminates in the burning of a giant stick figure man. There are strict rules called Leave No Trace. You have to leave the desert as empty as you found it.

The art of Burning Man is better shown in videos...

The video below is a great overview. That giant "C" in the first frame shows all the campsites full of people. Use the donut cursor on youtube to look at all the frames. That way, you can skip around.



Here's one of the thousands of shows...



More from 2005...



This the final event of the week...



It takes a lot of work. Wish us luck!

The 3 Voices in my Head

I've always wanted to eat healthy. And how much to eat and when to eat should be obvious, but perceiving that accurately is clouded by my loud brain. I can't hear my body, because my brain's thoughts are so loud.

Most of you know about the noise in your head. You know, that constant stream of consciousness. All those different thoughts. We're always thinking. Have you ever noticed that it is really hard to isolate just one of those thoughts by themselves? Or that it seems like your thoughts are much faster in your head than when you talk? It is a lot of noise, right?

I had a single experience in 2004 that changed my relationship to that noise. It demonstrated how our thoughts and our bodies are related. I'll explain what happened...

I remember walking in a park by myself. I was walking to my car from a restaurant. And I was observing that noise in my head, as I sometimes do. And suddenly, the noise started to break up into three different voices. So instead of just a single stream of consciousness, I sensed that there were three voices talking non-stop and all at once. And for a brief moment, I could focus my attention on just one voice, a single stream of thoughts. I looked at each stream of thoughts. And I could see one voice was my body, saying I'm full, I'm tired, I want a snack, some water, etc, etc. And the second voice was my heart, expressing my emotional needs, talking about how I felt. And the third voice was my mind, where the thoughts I was having were actual thoughts in an orderly manner.

So the noise in your head isn't noise at all. It's just three different people trying to get their needs met at the same time. And with them all talking at once, it sounds like noise. That brief, poignant moment of clarity didn't last long. But I took away a powerful notion. That chatter in my head isn't chatter at all. It's a multitude of needs. And the better I can translate the noise into something understandable, the sooner I can develop myself further as a person.

So, I am constantly learning new skills in how to help my brain and my body get along better. I want to sort out the cacophony of thoughts into a symphony of desires: with the instruments being my mental, physical, and emotional expressions.

I learned something new today about eating. When you are sedentary, some of the traditional advice doesn't apply. For example, they say that eating six small meals a day is good for you. But if you are sedentary, you don't use any energy. So even six small meals might be too much.

The key here is to listen to your body. And try and determine that subtle request for more food. Then, you have to determine how much food your body wants: a single berry? a small cup? How small of a serving is right for those 6 meals? Or how many meals is right? What is my body asking for? What does it want?

New Coaching Certificate program for me

Hey all,
I found a new program that I'm really interested in...

I am getting closer toward needing to be Certified as a Coach. This program might open up some great opportunities in business coaching. Of course, there's way more money there. Although I've never felt urgency to be certified for a couple of reasons. The biggest reason is because I am learning a business skill, first and foremost. How do you get the word out to 1 million interested people? How do sell? How do you get a steady stream of clients? Those questions are much more pressing than "Am I good?" and "Am I qualified?"

Also, I always check in with every client every time. I always make sure that I provided the best coaching possible, and that my clients are moving as fast as they can towards their goals. So business skills are more important than qualification skills, because I have always felt qualified. I have Landmark to thank for that. Although I hate their sales practices, I have always loved their coaching. They have always provided me with incredible insights, and definitely new direction and action. That inspires me to provide the best coaching I can in my own style and with my own clients.

Basically, the Coaching Training for me would act like a Bachelor's degree does in most Certification programs. Much like an architect, interior designer or CPA, there are three parts: the training, the test, and the hours. The Training program has to be certified by the ICF. Only certain programs count. (of course, my Landmark does not. *sigh*)

But sure enough, UTD's Management School has a new certified Coaching Training program. I've always admired the UTD SoM. Ever since I lived with one of the guys in the new accelerated program while I was getting my Bachelor's, I was always impressed. And I trust UTD a lot to provide great classes. Plus, as a university, I could get school loans to pay the tuition. Plus, its distance learning, which is nice.

The other two parts are a test and the working hours. I may have enough working hours, because I've been taking coaching clients for so many years. If not, then I'm well on my way.

As for the business of coaching, I am definitely picking up more clients regularly. I have always loved giving advice. It's an honor to join a new service industry, and a new generation of people dedicated to making the world a better place.

--
To check out the different coaching programs available for you, visit Love Kung Fu.

Quick & Dirty Guide - Smooch Dating Site

I get a whole lot of questions from clients about how to use various dating sites. This is a guide to using Smooch.com to get the most dating, and the fastest way to find true love.

#1 Set up your Smooch Profile

It's a little frustrating at first, because you have to answer the questions on the home page. Fill out and pick a Smooch username. As always, pick a username that no one else will ever think of. That way, you can use it on every dating site. Plus, then people can find you on bigger sites like Myspace and Youtube.

Get your login from your email, and you'll end up at a form with traits to fill in. Before you invest time in selecting all these traits, you need to see if you even like the site. Who wants to waste time if it doesn't jibe.

Recommendation: At the bottom of each menu of choices, you can select "Ask Me." I recommend that you just select "Ask Me" for everything first. You can always update your profile later.

Ask yourself: Do you like the feel of the website? Do you like the people? If so, then you can edit your profile. If you are brand new to Smooch, you should just create a somewhat "dummy" profile until you've made up your mind.


#2 Send a few Quick Messages

In my humble opinion, you should send messages first, & ask questions later. Since so many of the profiles are junk these days, you need to first send a quick online or email message to lots of singles that you find. Your will message will help you discover if:

a) they are real people;
b) they are checking messages; and
c) they are interested.

Without those basics, you are wasting your surf-time. By checking your potential Smooch date out with a quick email, you solve that problem. I always recommend creating a single "hello" message, and copy/pasting it into messages to several different people. You can always customize your future messages after the Smooch member writes you back.

#3 Head on Over to that Chatroom

The Smooch Chatroom is probably their strongest feature. I would kill some time in there. Introduce yourself and make a few jokes. If someone seems interesting, send them a private IM.

If you want more instructions, check out the Action Dating Program. It's a How-to guide for dating, full of great information and action-oriented advice.

Smooch Dating Review, with Coach Mark

As a dating coach, I'm a big fan of online dating. I found my own true love that way. But there are tricks. You have to learn how to use the system. Smooch.com is a new free dating site. Here's my review of Smooch.

The Easy Sign-Up Rating: 3 hearts.

One of the first annoying things happens in the first 5 seconds on the sign-up page. You have to click "Join Now" three times to even get started. If you have a slow login connection, this would be a real pain. Then, the 2nd page is a big, long list of my qualities. I dream of the day when a big database can auto-fill all this crap. How many times do I have to admit my height and weight. I mean, really?

The Action Dating Rating: 5 hearts.

The Action Dating Rating is a rating of how easy it is to send a short, unique message to another person. Sending a short message introducing yourself is the most important feature in any dating site. It should always be 2 clicks away, three at most. Most sites mess this up royally. And its frustrating.

I am really impressed at how easy it is to send people a message on Smooch.com. I pick a profile, and click, "Send a Message." That was easy. Plus, it shows if my message has been read or unread. That's great!


The Splatter Dating Rating: 2 hearts.

The Splatter Dating Rating is a measure of how easily you can find lots of dates and mates. If it is easy to find a large number of potential singles, then the Splatter Dating Rating is high. If the number of potential dates or mates is small (like, the website is small, or the only singles are in random cities across the world), then the Splatter Dating Rating is low.

I click on the Smooch Search button, and I have several complaints. First, you can only search by "Pictures & New Members." Aren't those mutually exclusive, since new members will rarely have pictures on Day 1? So then the people I want are mixed in with the ones I don't. Personally, I only surf for profiles with pictures. Having a picture is a common courtesy that I extend to others, and I expect the same. So if I can't filter non-picture people out, then minus 2 hearts for you Smooch!

The Socializing & Networking Rating: 3 hearts.

The chatroom opened in a new window, which threw me for a second there. But it seems like pretty good software. You can click on a profile and see their picture. It ran smoothly and when you zoom in on the pic, it was easy to see what the member looked like.

Then I started reading the chatroom conversation... Oh boy. I'm a little rusty at my chat room skills. I've been doing the forum thing. And when I first joined, they were talking about bags of poo. That was a rough start, for sure! :-( Well... its been a few minutes now. And although I can't say the mental depth is great, it does seem that the conversation is light and fun. As a matter of fact, the longer I stay in here, the more comfortable I feel.

Although the conversation is lively, the one major downfall is that a single chatroom handles the whole US. I'd rather have a chatroom (with enough interesting people) in a single city. But if they don't have enough members, there's no way for that to work. Oh well.

I give them high points for a great stream of consciousness chatroom. A lot of chatrooms cannot pull that off.

Overall Rating: 3.25 hearts out of 5 hearts.

This site is best for socialites who prefer chatting over profile surfing. If you love a good chatroom, you will probably find a match with Smooch. It's also better for people who like phone dates and long-distance relationships, over in-person meetings. That's because most of your matches won't be local unless this site gets more popular.

Good luck in your continued search for love. If you liked this article, forward it to your friends. You can gain access to the secrets of better online dating today. Visit us at the Love Kung Fu: Action Dating site for more details!

Meet my abs workout instructor

I have started working out my abs 3x per week. It feels really great!

I found this video, and it's a lot of fun, since he does the whole routine with you. He said that its better to do it slower than what he does.

I love watching the tv, and doing the workout alongside him. Very fun!

I found searching for all kinds of do-it-alongside-me youtube videos is a great idea. It's like having my own in-home personal trainer.

Fake is the new F-word

As I watch the Clinton / Obama battle unfold, I realized that the value of honesty is moving up in the world. With all her experience in office and the belief that most Democrats have in the Clintons, it is Hillary's fake smile and well-honed image that might be her downfall.

It proves that being honest is more and more important. As tough as it might be, that means we all have to continue exposing more and more of our true selves. We have to show people our more personal sides; we have to be more vulnerable. Today, the people are demanding authenticity from our leaders. Tomorrow, we'll be asking it of each other.

While writing this, I found my own demons knocking at my door. They were screaming from different corners of my mind: "Too much Information!" "People don't want to hear that!" and, at the same time, "They want the truth!" "Just be honest!"

So what do you think? Honesty or Status Quo?

The 5 Love Languages at Work

A friend of mine is having some trouble with his boss. He doesn't feel appreciated at all. He said he's tired of the negativity. Here's what I told him...

I think that the staple of modern relationship education is The Five Love Languages book. Here's the summation: We each speak and hear a different language for feeling loved. When someone is speaking the wrong language, it doesn't do any good. So most relationships (romantically and in general) have a translation problem. Both people are working really hard, but speaking different languages.

Here's the languages:
- Words of Affirmation
- Touch
- Gifts
- Acts of Service
- Quality Time

This book IS required reading for anyone in a relationship. The trick is to apply the principles. Dave and I talk in terms of "love tanks" on a daily basis. We are constantly tracking how full our love tanks are.

It relates to work because if your boss show appreciation by giving you gifts or time off to spend with family, but you really want words of affirmation, then you've got a translation problem with his or her love language.

Some people show sooo much love through acts of service or quality time or touch, but they are very negative in their speaking. If that was your boss, he or she would feel that they are working really hard to show you appreciation, but it wasn't doing any good. I'd recommend asking your boss to start saying certain things, and exactly how often to say them.

Questions for Atheists

This a video response to this hilarious video: http://youtube.com/watch?v=nw0HQar6ceE

I talk about my views on spirituality and the "after life." This is a pretty intimate exposure of what I believe in, so be gentle. :-)

I have a few questions for Atheists. I'm curious to the aspects of "immeasurable" or "intangible" things. How do Atheists deal with the unknown. Let me know - post a comment below. Thanks!

These Monkeys Pay for Sex

This article is great! It's about a concept called "biology market theory" where supply and demand happens in the animal kingdom. Great stuff!

So maybe there is a prostitution gene in the animal kingdom?
Only time will tell.

Coach Mark

Hillary versus Obama

Here are my feelings about Obama and Clinton.

Clinton has a great plan, and is way more accomplished, way more "able" to do a great job. But she wasn't "real." In a day of reality tv and youtube videos, I never felt any passion from her. But when she lost Iowa, she learned how to open up and show more of herself. Is it all her? Who cares!! As long as we think it's real, then it's real enough to me.

I think her best course of action is the old Fireside Chats that Roosevelt gave. We need to see her how she really is, good or bad. That way, we can make an honest decision.

Obama is great. I agree that he could make a change. He definitely showed Clinton how to be real, passionate and honest. But we've seen so many presidents get into office and then have no power of influence because they lack the political ties or lack the experience to win over Congress.

So I think it would be easier to teach Clinton how to be honest than to give Obama the years of experience he needs. And at the same time, I am ready to vote for Obama if Clinton doesn't continue to be honest, open and real. No matter how much I respect her abilities, if she isn't being honest, there's no way to verify anything else.

In the upcoming weeks, we'll see if Clinton's change is permanent. If so, I will definitely be on her side.